“The Brink of Eternity”
“I love to live on the Brink of Eternity,”
The Life of David Brainerd
Living in a world filled with loneliness and depression can quietly destroy dreams. Throughout the day, these feelings can wreak havoc on an individual’s life, eroding momentum and productivity. Loneliness and depression are formidable forces that can imprison many people in darkness and despair. Why are these feelings so powerful? Many self-help books and success seminars explore this question, but overcoming it isn’t easy! I speak from personal experience, drawing on my own life’s journey. This is not a declaration of victimhood or a complaint about unfairness.
David Brainerd died on October 9th, 1747, of tuberculosis at the age of twenty-nine in the home of Jonathan Edwards. A now-famous missionary to the Native Americans during the 1730s and 1740s, Brainerd was far from popular during his lifetime. He could have been viewed as unsuccessful or a failure whose life lacked significance or impact. For much of his life, he was primarily overlooked and considered irrelevant. Only after his death did his life gain meaning and became a source of encouragement and inspiration for many. Jonathan Edwards, a friend of Brainerd’s, wrote “The Life and Diary of David Brainerd,” which helped to highlight his experiences.
Additionally, John Wesley authored another biography, “Life of Brainerd.” It was written from a more advanced theological perspective. Between Edwards’s writings and Wesley’s, Brainerd’s legacy emerged as the global missionary movement grew, and he became an inspirational figure.
David Brainerd’s life was brief but powerful. He converted to Christianity at age twenty-one and dedicated his last four years on earth to serving as a missionary to Native American Indians. Despite his short life, he profoundly impacted those who knew him and future generations. Influential missionaries such as William Carey, Robert Murray M’Cheyne, John Mills, David Livingstone, and Jim Elliot drew inspiration from Brainerd’s life and his unwavering devotion to God. Gideon Hawley, a missionary friend of Jonathan Edwards, was quoted as saying, “I need, greatly need something more than humane to support me. I read my Bible and Mr. Brainerd’s Life, the only books I brought with me, and from them, I have a little support.” (John Piper, Message at 1990 Bethlehem Conference for Pastors)
John Piper, a well-known theologian, describes Brainerd’s life as a “vivid, powerful testimony to the truth that God can and does use weak, sick, discouraged, beat-down, lonely, struggling saints who cry to him day and night to accomplish amazing things for his glory.” (John Piper, Message at 1990 Bethlehem Conference for Pastors)
Brainerd never wavered in his faith or his mission, and this had a significant impact on those around him. People are often drawn to stories of overcomers who endure life’s hardships. These inspiring figures are the ones I aspire to emulate. Despite facing struggles, depression, and loneliness, Brainerd remained steadfast. He was deeply committed to completing the work he had set out to accomplish and was passionate about obeying God and honoring His kingdom.
The pragmatic perspective would label Brainerd as a fool, an idiot, and out of God’s will. He was expelled from Yale for criticizing the faculty for their lack of spiritual emphasis. As a result, his entry into the ministry was delayed, and he was denied an immediate pastorate position. During this time, he developed a passion for missionary work and remained dedicated to his calling, even when easier assignments were later offered to him. He had several opportunities for a more comfortable life, but Brainerd stayed true to what he believed was his divine purpose.
There were easier assignments and places where Brainerd could serve with less struggle. However, he was dedicated to his sense of calling and compassion for the lost. “[I] could have no freedom in the thought of any other circumstances or business in life: All my desire was the conversion of the heathen, and all my hope was in God: God does not suffer me to please or comfort myself with hopes of seeing friends, returning to my dear acquaintance, and enjoying worldly comforts.” https://fieldpartner.org/resources/articles/a-short-but-most-effective-life-david-brainerd/
Through severe depression and sickness, he kept going. He wasn’t just a survivor. He was a Champion in the Field, determined to overcome any obstacles that hindered his calling; he had struggled with depression throughout his life. However, after his conversion, he discovered a remarkable ability to confront the darkness through his faith in God. Brainerd could affirm God’s loving goodness even during his darkest moments. Many times, he described his depression in terms of death, longing for it as a means of escaping his misery. The following is just one journal entry he recorded during his life.
Sunday, December 16, 1744: “Was so overwhelmed with dejection that I knew not how to live: I longed for death exceedingly: My soul was ‘sunk in deep waters,’ and ‘the floods’ were ready to ‘drown me’: I was so much oppressed that my soul was in a kind of horror.”
Brainerd was very much alone in his ministry calling. There was no “doing life together” or having the niceness of a community of friends, for without his deep faith in God and his personal relationship with Jesus Christ, he was, first and foremost, all alone.
He struggled to have any of the comforts of life. Where most Pragmatics and others quit, Brainerd relentlessly pursued his calling. “I live poorly with regard to the comforts of life: most of my diet consists of boiled corn, hasty pudding, etc. I lodge on a bundle of straw, and my labor is hard and extremely difficult; and I have little experience of success to comfort me”
https://ayoon118.blogspot.com/2013/04/david-brainerd-diary-entry.html
Brainerd felt content with his circumstances and sweetly resigned to God. At times, he found himself alone in the woods, enduring the cold, wet, and loneliness without the comforts of a home. Brainerd persevered and even thrived under these challenges despite the significant hardships he faced. This resilience contributed to his successful ministry and influenced many great missionaries who followed in his footsteps. A life lived on the brink of eternity brings lasting consequences and eternal rewards.
Rich Binning is a researcher, investigator, and freelance writer based in Southeast Asia. He supports missionaries in spreading the message of Jesus Christ and works towards ending child trafficking and sexual exploitation. Rich is well-educated in Biblical Studies, Historical Studies, and Political Science, which equips him to comprehend the intricacies of cross-cultural missions and anti-trafficking efforts. He applies his research and investigative skills to solve complex issues effectively.
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